I was writing a post about how the new year always brings with it an anxiousness of how to move forward, as if our life depended on it. I was putting the finishing touches to it then I pressed something that totally deleted the whole post.
Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had just spent 45 minutes writing furiously at a piece which I thought was very insightful..
I sat there for a moment seething with anger, feeling stupid and wondering why on earth this happened. When it occurred to me, this is what life is like.
We start something which we may have good intentions on achieving. We set a date, a time, even choose the people who will be involved in our endeavor and then boom! A curve ball is thrown in the works.
We don't like it. We stamp out feet, we shout, we cry we turn against those we put our trust in to help us with our task and then we sulk, even going into depression, because we have not got what we wanted.
Oh well, there is always next year, to start again we may subconsciously assume.
What if next year is now?
What if we can do it all now?
What if all we have is now?
Which is more to the point, why do we leave things for a later date?
Why?
So what, things didn't work out!
So what, we put a lot of our time and energy in it!
So what! So what! So what!!!
We stay in relationships that are obviously unhealthy, because we cling on to the effort we have put into it. We are not even fighting for the relationship any more but more about fighting for the time and energy we have put into it.
So what?
OK, there is a point to this I am sure, it doesn't seem to be materialising easily...
So what?
What if it isn't meant to be easy?
What if it is all meant to be this way; fumbling in the dark; finding our way; looking for a switch that will lighten our path, then falling again as we come across a dark patch then looking again for that light?
That sounds more realistic to me. That sounds more like the life that most people have.
It is too much pressure to put on ourselves to expect things to always work out, especially the way we expect them...
Stop with the expecting!
We are NOT in control...
Ha! How does that feel now to be told this truth, yes truth?
We are NOT in control...
Yes we are in control of how we react but not of how others do blady! blady! blah!....
Really?????
Do you feel in control of how you feel?
I certainly don't. Not all the time.
I have practised meditation, breathing exercises, reiki, mindfulness, counselling techniques etc, etc, etc I even teach others to do the same, but something that is very apparent and my family and close friends can vouch for this...I do not always, show that I am in control of my feelings.
And that is OK!
That is more than OK.
Do you know why?
Things change; you change, I change, life changes even if it seems that it doesn't.
What we are in control of is the ability to choose what we do with change.
We either fight it all the way or we ride the wave of change.
If you choose the latter, which I hope this is the point I am making, you will have to be prepared for some bruises and tears. For anything with a risk, takes practice, guts and faith.
You WILL fall...not might or if you fall...you WILL FALL...
And that is OK!
You will cry, scream and want to just stay put and argue your point and make others wrong.
And that is OK if you want to semi live.
But if you want to live you will have to get up onto that board and surf the wave, and allow it to take you to wherever it does.
You can then choose what you do with it. You can then decide whether to stay or hop on to the next wave of change. Either way change will happen.
Happy surfing!
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